Winter Dreams

Beta: Half Elf Lost

15: a lost star

December 15th

I watch him.

He is curled against the headboard of the bed, his twin held close to his body. They are no longer children, but they are not yet adults. I have raised them as if they were mine, but they are not. I can never delude myself enough to believe they are of my cursed bloodline. It is their one blessing in a life of misery, I believe.

A book is open on his lap, the pale light of a far away star illuminating the pages. He reads in the dead of the night as the cold wind rattles the shutters, his brother's soft breath playing across his warm skin. I remember many nights when it was Maedhros who held me in such a way; the security and love I felt in my older brother's arms was a comfort on such harsh nights. But it is the younger that holds the older in the oversized bed.

Elrond lifts his eyes from the pages and meets my gaze with a wisdom no youngling should possess. He smiles at me, a soft, sad expression that tugs at my heart. The star flickers in the winter sky as clouds pass over its light and I wonder if he will always carry such sadness. It is as if his life slowly slips away from him each year, with each season that turns.

He shakes his head as if he knows my thoughts and returns to his book. I wait for a sound from him -- only one sound have I craved since I held their small forms in my arms. I have held on to the hope, held off the urge to beg, held out for those lips to form the words, and held in my own words.

For years I have felt dead, that my life was lost on the Grinding Ice when I left my kinsmen to die in the frigid waters. I am old, I am tired, and I will never hear those words from either of those I call my sons.

I turn, leaving him to his twin, to his book lit by the light of lost star. Then, in the silence of the room I hear the words.

"I love you, Maglor."

I do not turn around. If I did, he would see my tears, and those I do not want him to see. Only one question flittered across my mind as I walked away from the room, from the two beings for whom I now lived.

Could one be this old and have their life begin?


	Navigation multi-part stories previous next		Winter Dreams Beta: Half Elf Lost 15: a lost star December 15th I watch him. He is curled against the headboard of the bed, his twin held close to his body. They are no longer children, but they are not yet adults. I have raised them as if they were mine, but they are not. I can never delude myself enough to believe they are of my cursed bloodline. It is their one blessing in a life of misery, I believe. A book is open on his lap, the pale light of a far away star illuminating the pages. He reads in the dead of the night as the cold wind rattles the shutters, his brother's soft breath playing across his warm skin. I remember many nights when it was Maedhros who held me in such a way; the security and love I felt in my older brother's arms was a comfort on such harsh nights. But it is the younger that holds the older in the oversized bed. Elrond lifts his eyes from the pages and meets my gaze with a wisdom no youngling should possess. He smiles at me, a soft, sad expression that tugs at my heart. The star flickers in the winter sky as clouds pass over its light and I wonder if he will always carry such sadness. It is as if his life slowly slips away from him each year, with each season that turns. He shakes his head as if he knows my thoughts and returns to his book. I wait for a sound from him -- only one sound have I craved since I held their small forms in my arms. I have held on to the hope, held off the urge to beg, held out for those lips to form the words, and held in my own words. For years I have felt dead, that my life was lost on the Grinding Ice when I left my kinsmen to die in the frigid waters. I am old, I am tired, and I will never hear those words from either of those I call my sons. I turn, leaving him to his twin, to his book lit by the light of lost star. Then, in the silence of the room I hear the words. "I love you, Maglor." I do not turn around. If I did, he would see my tears, and those I do not want him to see. Only one question flittered across my mind as I walked away from the room, from the two beings for whom I now lived. Could one be this old and have their life begin?